Fickle, my pickle

fick·le [fik-uhl]
–adjective

1. likely to change, esp. due to caprice, irresolution, or instability; casually changeable: fickle weather.
2. not constant or loyal in affections: a fickle lover.

My partner used this term to describe me the other day. He was being neither hurtful, nor derogatory, just matter of fact. However, after reading the dictionary.com definition, I think I may have preferred the terms "adventurous", "whimsical" or "curious", instead. When I shared this with him, he smiled and said how much he loved my inquisitive nature and clarified that he meant that I just liked to explore the different possibilities out there. (He's lucky he's got such a great smile and is so good with words!)

The reason I thought I would bring this up was because I thought it was a good segue to the progression of this blog and with regards to the way my life has unfolded here in Toronto.

Since we moved here, I've taken an art class, a makeup course and upcoming, a Counselling certificate. I've researched careers in Montessori, behaviour therapy, makeup artistry, and most recently, art therapy. I've contacted artists and spoken with psychotherapists asking them about their careers and the paths that led them to their current situation. I've read blogs upon blogs (upon blogs!) looking for inspiration and insight from people's lives around the globe in hopes to experience the same motivation and passion that these people express on a daily basis. And now...

I feel as though the Universe has just opened up a path for me and all these positive things are happening.

Is it silly to think that a book is responsible for being the catalyst to this all? It seems like such a wonderful coincidence that since I began reading the Artist's Way and embracing the principles, all of these amazing changes have started occuring. I guess, the more appropriate thing to pay homage to is the fact that I've actually made a decision, a promise/commitment to myself, and that's to leave the comfort of the unionized, bureaucratic, "pink-ghetto" that I've been a part of and pursue something in the non-profit sector.

It makes so much sense, since my background is actually in Family Studies (undergrad. degree). However, my first experience working in the field left such a bruise on my psyche (corny as that sounds). I was hired as an advocate for women "at risk"; mothers with children under the age of five who were referred from a government agency. The role was a challenge for so many reasons. I found myself judging these women, particularly because I felt such compassion for the children. What these women needed was for me to be an advocate but all I wanted to do was save these children, to care for them. I eventually quit, took a diploma at a private college and eventually, got the first of several positions at a post-secondary institution.

I know that I'm ready to move on to something more fulfilling. I want to do something meaningful and contribute to society (and in doing so, myself). I can no longer work in an environment where the most pressing issues include omitting U.S.A. in an already correct and acceptable mailing address or failing to put the country on a separate line from the city and postal/zip code for overseas mailing (yes, true story).

It's such a liberating and empowering feeling - knowing that I'm going in that direction. AND, I can actually see myself in this role... doing good, supporting a cause, promoting goodness, being passionate about coming into work (not just "killing" time, as well as my spirit) and feeling proud of the work that I do. What a wonderful future to look forward to!