I have, what might be considered, a maniacal fear of raccoons. It's a subject I've briefly alluded to, but am now ready to divulge in its pathetic entirety. (Actually, it's as a result of seeing two of those crazy critters making their way into my neighbour's yard the other night).
I never had much exposure to these critters until I moved to Toronto. In fact, the only other time I actually saw a raccoon was when I lived in Vancouver and saw this massive creature staggering across the street. (I didn't realize they could get so huge!)
Anyway, I think the fear really manifested itself one hot summer night... (Gosh, I wish I had taken a night vision video of it - y'know, just to capture the hilarity of it all). The past few weeks leading up to this night included several incidents of the critters attacking our green bins and destroying garbage bags. Our street resembled a city where the sanitation folks were busy striking (well, maybe not that bad but it did look a little dirty).
My partner had left the screen door open a tad, after going out on our deck/balcony, and I was freaking out. I told him to shut the door quickly because the critters might try to make their way into our home. He laughed and teased me and then, finally got up and shut the door. Still not appeased, I looked out into the darkness with fear, WHEN... I thought I saw some movement out on the deck!
"Oh no - it must be the raccoons! They're here!" Teased my very sensitive partner.
I rushed out to the deck when, lo' and behold, there was the backside of a rather, over-sized raccoon, just sitting out on the corner of the deck, admiring our backyard or just in deep thought. He then proceeded to walk across the deck railing (gosh, my heart's beatin' fast just relaying that night) and before I could grab a camera, my partner flashed the deck lights on. The critter practically fell off the railing - clinging onto the side and looking, what seemed to be directly, into my eyes! He then shimmied down the corner post...
(UGH)
Ever since that night, I haven't been able to enjoy our wonderful balcony. Whenever I do make my way out there, I'll stand right by the sliding doors, ready to switch on the light or head inside. (I'm sure I look like I'm completely crazed when I'm out there, especially the way my head jerks to-and-fro', making sure there's no animal scurrying above or creeping up the side of the house). In fact, throughout the winter, I frequently asked my partner what raccoons did those cold winter months. He reassured me and said they were "hibernating" and "it's too cold out for them". Despite being somewhat skeptical, I eventually gained a sense of peace from that. Of course, the peace was short-lived when I came face-to-face (okay, it was actually more like across the street in my neighbour's yard but it felt awfully close!) with another hearty critter. Dang, I should have known they weren't far... all clad in their fur coats feasting on their green bin buffet.
Speaking of green bin buffets...
The raccoons attacked the one on our porch this morning. They like to taunt me, I suppose.
In closing, I'd like to leave you with this disturbing visual... And the three letters that sum it up best, "WTF?!"
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