Heal Thy Self...

I began my Counselling Level I Certificate last month and have been thoroughly enjoying it. Our facilitator is amazing - both in presentation and as a professional - and has me engaged during each of our classes. Besides lecturing, he uses practical exercises where we can apply the philosophies and strategies we've learned, on one another, along with video clips from both movies and actual counselling sessions. He is a MASTER at using questions effectively - in a way that is both constructive and gentle to the individual seeking support. He places a great deal of emphasis on language and the powerful effects it has on outcome, as well as how it shapes the way he carries out his own practice. As well, he tends to focus on bringing out the positives during counselling, not in a way that minimizes or invalidates a person's problem or "issue" but rather, offers the individual guidance and recognition of their own strengths and tools, resulting in a more meaningful experience, perhaps, with more succesful results.

It's been a real eye-opener and he's provided me with much food-for-thought with regards to every day life situations. Because I am not currently practising in the field of Counselling, I relate what I've learned in parenting and relationship situations. While it may seem simplistic or obvious to use positive language and be a good listener, the ideas and philosophies are much deeper than that. One of my favorite strategies is scaling where you ask an individual to rate how they're feeling with regards to what they see is an issue or problem from say, 1-10 (with 10 being great and 1 being horrible). Instead of focusing on the deficit, you would ask how the individual managed to stay at that level instead of falling below it and how they might be able to get to a higher level (say, even just .5 up the scale). You might ask them what is the highest they've been on the scale and how that day looked and ask them what they might do different to get back to that level. This is only one of the many examples that he used but I felt it was something practical that I might be able to use with my own child and one that I hadn't employed in the past.

[He also suggested using (smiley) faces with children, as an alternative. You might use a range from sad to happy faces or even include an angry face, if appropriate.]

Another wonderful strategy is to externalize what the person considers their issue or problem is. By referring to the problem as "the problem", it seems to take a life of its own - one that is outside of the individual. He showed us a session with a child and her two parents where the family managed to externalize their issue and gave it features, almost as if to humanize it. The child was then able to see it as something of an entity beyond her and not just a problem within her, as did her parents. In one portion of the session, he asked the child if she visualized the problem and asked her to draw a picture of how it looked to her. It was quite fascinating and again, a method I could see myself using in my own parenting.

I haven't even mentioned what the participants in the class have to offer! Many of the individuals are seasoned counsellors already in the field with a wealth of experience that they've been kind enough to share with the rest of the class. The communities they serve range from those with eating disorders to men whose lives are entrenched in the justice system, petty theives to mothers experiencing domestic violence, and walk-ins who believe they need help.

Of course, there is so much more to what I've already learned that I'm not giving any attention to AND... this is really only the tip of the iceberg (ugh - cliches!). I can't wait to learn more... and in doing so, I hope to become a better parent and partner, and consequently, better to myself.