The Real Anna Nicole Show

Anna Nicole update: After Friday's autopsy of Anna Nicole Smith failed to turn up a clear cause of death, investigators in Florida now say it may take up to five weeks to determine what killed the former model/stripper/reality TV star. Over the weekend, Rita Cosby on MSNBC reported that Smith had had two different breast surgeries since giving birth five months ago and was taking at least 10 prescription drugs when she died. Also, a picture of Smith's fridge in her home in the Bahamas showed bottles of methadone stacked up next to SlimFast and TrimSpa containers. And narrowly topping Friday's bizarre news that Prince Frederick von Anhalt -- Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband -- claims he's the father of Smith's baby, Dannielynn, is the allegation from her half-sister, Donna Hogan, that Smith used the frozen sperm of her ex-husband, J. Howard Marshall, to get pregnant. And finally, CNN anchor Jack Cafferty's on-air comment last week about Smith was picked up on all the video sites over the weekend -- watch as he asks Wolf Blitzer, "Is Anna Nicole Smith still dead?" (Courtesy of Salon.com's The Fix)

Baa

I don't actually believe that there should be just one day to celebrate love. (In fact, at our house, every day is Valentine's Day, it seems. Heh heh).

Whether or not you partake in the shenanigans, here are some facts and follies about Valentine's Day that are sure to warm the cockles of your heart (and then some!).

The History of Valentine's Day

Legend has it that Valentine was a priest in Rome, under the reign of Emperor Claudius II . Claudius ordered young, single Roman soldiers not to become engaged or get married. He believed that wives and families served as distractions to his soldiers and would not fight as well as unmarried men. Valentine defied the decree and secretly performed marriage rituals for young couples. Valentine was eventually arrested, imprisoned and ordered to be put to death.

While in prison in Rome, legend has it that Valentine wrote a letter to his sweetheart, which he signed "From your Valentine," an expression still in use today. Valentine was beheaded on February 14th .

The actual holiday of Valentine's Day derives its origins from the ancient Roman feast of Lupercalia -- a spring fertility festival celebrated on February 15. On the eve of the festival, the names of the young Roman girls were written on slips of paper and placed into jars. Each young unmarried man drew a slip with a name on it. This girl was chosen was to be his sweetheart for the year. Many of the young couples were later married.

This festival was later outlawed because the annual pairings were considered "un-Christian." It is believed that the Christian church decided to celebrate Valentine's Day on February 14th in an attempt to disassociate with the pagan Lupercalia festival.

Self-love and Sexual Healing

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is forbidden from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

Popular this season are anti-Valentine's Day events, including a "Love Bites the Hand that Feeds It" cabaret show by the Lesbian/Gay Chorus of San Francisco.

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for on the premises."

Most Middle Eastern countries recognize the following Islamic law: "After having sexual relations with a lamb, it is a mortal sin to eat its flesh."

(Baaaaa)

Let's Hear It For the Boy

In honor of Valentine's Day Eve, I thought it was fitting to pay homage to my first love - Chris Phillips (I pray to God he's not reading this).

When I was fourteen, my family spent part of the summer in California. As a huge follower of the Sweet Dreams book series, I fantasized about meeting some cute California boy and falling head-over-heels in love (as in Summer Dreams by Barbara Conklin, Sweet Dreams Romance Books #60, Bantam Books).

Chris happened to live next door to my aunt and uncle. He was a blonde surfer type, two years older and a bit on the goofy side. He wore nothing but three-quarter length sleeved tops and jammer shorts with his nuts often hanging out of the side. It disgusted and scared me, but didn't prevent our little love affair from flourishing.

Our summer romance continued into the fall with phonecalls and Stetson-infused letters. My grade nine sistas loved to read the correspondence, even though his chicken scratches were barely legible and they took turns sniffing the pages.

I think my best memories were calling him from the home ec. office telephone when the teacher left the room.

I'm not really sure how it all ended... (Something about getting caught smoking weed and having to move to his Mom's house). Wherever you are, CP, this one's for you. Giddyup.

Many moons ago...

How can one not be curious about yoga with this kind of beautiful imagery?  (Okay, okay...  So, it actually turned me off a bit but anyway...)

Lastnight, I decided that it was time to turn over a new leaf and git movin' - once and for all.  I hate to admit this but it has been years since I actually committed to any kind of fitness routine.  It's hard to believe that there was a time that I biked on the streets of Vancouver to make my way to salsa classes at Fitness World or when I would wake up at 5 am to be the first one at the gym in Winnipeg (oh, I do miss you...  my buns of steel.  Okay, so they were more like buns of crinkly aluminum foil) but(t) I'm ready.

So, to prepare myself for my impending physical activities, I took two small steps today:

1. I walked over to a yoga studio close to my work that had a class for beginners.  The owner seemed very nice but they were in the midst of filming something when I arrived so I'll have to visit them again (soon).

and

2. I headed to the definitive source for fitness gear...  that's right, folks, Winners.  (No, I did say Winners).

Don't laugh, my friends, I went home with some very practical goodies such as a lime green yoga mat (for $15, no less), two Stott Pilates DVDs and a 5lb. hand weight.  All for under $45, if you can believe. I'm excited and hopeful... and can't wait to get started!

 

I'm still blushing

Yeah, that's it...  Put on a disguise so noone will know who you are when you're out in public...

I thought a good night's sleep would remedy the embarrassment I felt for Jon Boy when I saw him "spittin'" on episode 5 of the White Rapper Show (more specifically, the behind-the-scenes take of him) BUT...  I still feel ashamed.  I thought rappers were all cool and slick, not "White and Nerdy" as a wise man once lamented.  [Brrr...  I just shivered thinking about it!]
 
If you haven't already had the chance to listen to him do his thing, check it out, and feel the heat rise to your cheeks.

Anna Nicole

Is it strange to be feeling the way I do about Anna Nicole's death? I'm both incredibly shocked and yet, morbidly fascinated by the whole thing...

Not knowing much about her (other than her scandalous marriage and her whole claim to fame), I now feel compelled to find out as much as I can about her... She seemed like such a sad soul... Lost, misguided but yet, methodical in her choices.

And the latest development in all of this... Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband... the FATHER of her child?! WTF?! I found out this juicy morsel from:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/anna_nicole_smith_prince

What's up with that? And more importantly, Zsa Zsa... My, my, my...

[More thoughts to follow...]

You're the One That I Want (Biotch)

Oh boy, it's been five whole days since I last posted and so much has happened...

1) I'm a year older
Sad but true...  Okay, not really sad since I look much younger than my age (or so the carnie at Wonderland guessed).  Seriously, there are days that I honestly think I'm in my twenties..  You know, the good ol' days when it was totally permissible to be "finding" yourself and dabbling in every whimsy that crossed your mind.  (Oh yeah, and when your jeans were a little tighter because it was cool and not because gravity suddenly came to a halt).

2) The temperatures in Toronto now resemble winter on Mars
I know it may sound totally ironic coming from an ex-Winnipeger and all but I never said that I ever got used to those wicked temperatures up in Hollywood North.  (Okay, so I'm a wimp).  It is cold, though, folks...  I think it even got down to -26 the other night!!!  Brrrr!  (And yet, somehow, after talking to my folks tonight and hearing that it was -48 with the windchill the other day in the 'Peg, I still don't feel a tad bit guilty for saying this!).

3) I'm no longer on the Hauschka train
I stepped off... and pretty quickly as soon as I saw the deteriorating state of my skin.  Okay, so it may be a bit of an exaggeration but my skin did seem to change since I started using the products.  All the natural ingredients and positive accolades (from super-models and those "in the know") in the world could not replenish the moisture in this aging visage.  The whole cleansing routine seemed to leave my skin feeling zapped of moisture with a very flat and matte appearance.  It was not a pretty sight, as you can imagine...  However, despite all of this, I do still encourage everyone to give Dr. Hauschka's products a try.  The company's philosophy is admirable and who knows...  it may be the fountain of yewt you're looking for!

4) "Grease" is the word, Sistas!
Wow...  I didn't think it was possible to become addicted to such a cheezy show!  First of all, I'm not a huge fan of musicals (unless R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet qualifies as one!).  I always thought there was way too much singing and hokey theatrics but now, after seeing the rigorous auditions the actors go through, I have gained a new found respect for them.  These performers are absolutely amazing and oh so, talented.  They have to know how to sing and dance, in addition to acting...  (I'm so jealous).

Please check out the preview: